Before you continue reading, I am not depressed! I'm stressed. I'm worried and just miserable at this point. I really don't know what's wrong with me but I have been having a few issues. One is the lack of sleep. My daughter manages to sleep for what I call most of the night, she only wakes up for feedings and goes right back to sleep. But I find myself waking up at night just staring at the walls. It's quite frustrating because I am so tired. It's not like I don't need the sleep. Another issue is I have just been craving a social life. I want to go out with my friends, or heck, even my boyfriend. I would love to have a night on the town at least once a month. Before coming a mother, I was never super social but I wasn't exactly an introvert either. I crave to go out with my peers, laugh a little, live a little. Is that too much to ask for???
Another issue I have the blues about is this weight gain. I have been gaining so much weight after birth. When I was pregnant, I would eat crap(unhealthy junk food). I would think to myself, I can do this only cause when I give birth, I'm getting back on track. Ha! What a load of Brielle's booboo! Three months later and I'm eating the same crap, STILL. It's a little stressing because I just don't understand why I can't get my stuff together. I mean I was determined once before(losing 40lbs over three years). I just want to get back to that. Sigh.
Breastfeeding Update:
I have been really screwing up. I have been so busy. I haven't been able to pump like I want to. I just feel so distraught over this. I want to be able to supply my princess with her demands of milk but I'm falling short. By the way, have I mentioned, this little diva seems like she wants to go six ounces?! Arriving at 14wks today, my girl is growing too fast. I'm afraid my hectic schedule and her needs is just getting in the way of my plans. Darn!
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